Archive for bill

Listening to the Radio at 11pm, Tolerating The Cigar Smoke From My Father’s Direction -_- And A Concert of A Lifetime…

Posted in Family And Other Complications, HeartSONGS For the Soul, Lotsa Love and a Bit of Tears, Pink Champagne <3 with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 13, 2011 by midnightradiostar

Greetings all my readers! I am so happy to typing this down right now, even though the smoke from my father’s cigar is a bit annoying. I am sitting here with my entire family, each of us consumed by our own personal interests, creating a comfortable, familiar silence that happens every night in our family’s living room…

We keep our evenings reserved for some quiet time [excluding the moments my brother chooses to burp] where we read the papers, listen to music, talk, make jokes and sometimes bug the hell out of each other. Even though we have our fights, there’s nothing more I enjoy than a bit of family time where we get to discuss music with each other.

My parents are very different from the ‘conventional’  Indian families. My mother listens to rock, pop, and anything and everything 80s, a love which she incorporated into me. She also has an obsession for Adam Lambert– Probably the most astounding musician since Freddy Mercury!

My father on the other hand is pretty old school – Give him Jazz, lounge, and Unchained Melody any day… Though he wouldn’t diss U2, Black Sabbath or Jethro Tull.

As you can see by their choices they are pretty different personalities, though at this very moment seem to be in harmony with each other as they discuss a random article from the day’s paper.

My little brother? Well what can I say… Taller than me already though he’s pushing just 13 and with an attitude large enough to engulf Russia, his choices are what boys his age say they love so that they don’t come off as saps; Green Day, Linkin Park and the curious choice of Panic!At The Disco keeps him satisfied, and as Green Day’s ‘American Girl’ begins to play on the radio at the moment, he perks up faster than a hungry man with a plate of pasta in front of him!

And you all know my obsession with this man O_O:

The bottom line here is that though all our music tastes vary so much, we all came together for the one man who mattered. The one man who managed to transcend boundaries or age, gender and genre: BRYAN ADAMS.

The man came back to perform in Mumbai for the fifth time on the 12th of February, which was last night. A month prior I was jumping like a shrimp at the very idea that he was coming and last night I was finally there! It was epic, and therefore truly the Bryan Adams way!I have to go to bed soon, so here’s a quick glance at some of my favourite Numbers of The Night:

Everything I Do – While performing this he asked the entire audience of 20,000 to put their lit cellphones up in the air and wave… The effect was a sea of lights gliding in unison to his voice.

18 Till I Die – Since I was and am 18 at the time of the concert, this song meant a lot to me and Bryan Adams himself, who says he still believes he’s 18!

Baby When You’re Gone – For this one he pulled up a random audience member and asked her to sing along if she knew the song, which she did! While she couldn’t really sing, she made up for it with her enthusiasm and then jumping on Bryan Adams in the end. I would’ve done it too.

Died and Gone to Heaven- He dedicated it to a man who had once jumped up onstage [in a Mumbai concert of his] and grabbed the mic and yelled ‘Thought I’d died and gone to heaven!!!’ and then jumped back into the crowd.

Summer of ’69 – EVERYBODY knew the lyrics to this one! Doesn’t need much explaining!

Here I Am – One of my most favourite songs since I first heard it seven years ago, I was in tears when he sang it and the reality of the fact that I was looking at him do it, hit me.

All in all, Bryan Adams has an energy that cannot be compared with. He remains simple yet charming in his signature black shirt, jeans and slicked back hair. Each and everyone in that audience had a great time. Couple the music with pleasant weather, a moonlit night and good food, you had yourselves the biggest and best party in Mumbai! My family and I left the concert feeling considerably pleased though I wish he had done ‘Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman’….

Rock on, my fellow Mumbaites!!

Peace out <3

The Times Of My Life, Squared.

Posted in Back With A Vengeance!, Family And Other Complications, From The Story of Bill and Me, Love Life and LUST! Muahahaha! with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 21, 2010 by midnightradiostar

I am sorry for the mammoth of a break I took this past month… I was actually preoccupied with my first ever trip to the US and completely freaked out in New York City. Times Square is truly one of the most fantastical sites on the planet and I couldn’t help but gasp at its epic, dramatic and sharp beauty. It is also by the way the site Alicia Keys shot her scenes in Jay-Z’s ‘Empire State of Mind’. I was actually listening to the song while landing in NYC and it created excitement, fear and enthrallment in me, all at the same time.

So much has happened since I last wrote and article and let me give you a gist of some of the things that have occurred:

First of all I got back to the dreary life of school and never-ending revision and tests because, hooray, my exams start tomorrow. As a student doing her very first exam in a new school I must prepare to impress or get grounded. So with the fear of not seeing my boyfriend again for a month driving me on, I am definitely on the ‘impress’ road.

The second interesting thing was that I turned eighteen on the 15th of November [just this last Monday]. Everyone has the idea that because its you 18th birthday, you should have a really rocking time and lots fun, party with your friends and freak out, cos yay you can finally drive, vote, and get married. I haven’t done ANY of the above because not only did I wake up in the morning with the feeling that my birthday was going to suck… it actually DID! After having the worst birthday ever and that too my 18th turning out so lousy and not the way I planned, I decided to just go home and have a good cry cos hey, no one had the time to spend with me on my birthday, right? If it’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can’t rely on anybody else to have a good time. I can’t put my trust in people because they end up smashing it into smithereens just for the sake of selfishness, and I’m not just saying it because I had a lousy birthday. I’m saying it because in this life there is no one you can trust unconditionally except family. Because my family were the ones who had an Italian dinner, an ice-cream cake and African red wine waiting for me at home. It was my family who wouldn’t let me shed a tear. And it was also all my friends who called, texted and gave me the hugs and support and the little outing to McDonald’s and Birdy’s that made it hurt less.

The FINAL thing that happened since I last wrote here is big. No, its positively massive! Its HUMONGOUS! Its going to shock, stupefy, stun, numb, excite, delight, maybe irritate or slightly anger you. You know its so huge and life-changing, that I might as well just say it because I have no more words to hold you in suspense…


And not just any old pattern from a musty old book with photographs/stencils of lame old butterflies, skulls, snakes and hearts. No, I got myself something that has been important to me for the past five years. I got Tokio Hotel’s insignia, the ‘TH’ in a circle, tattooed onto the back of my neck, just like lead singer and idol, BILL KAULITZ. :) Since everyone asks me ‘Why?’ let me tell you with the words written down, without you arguing your ass of and trying to make me see ‘reason’. Let me tell you the story of ‘Why’.

My Tattoo

My words get caught while coming out of my mouth and turn upside down and round and round so that I can’t convey to you exactly what I feel. So I’m writing it to you because I know my power as a writer is great and no matter how hard you try you cannot escape the grip of my words. You see this is where the hunter becomes the hunted.

There is nothing more suitable to be my first tattoo than the TH symbol, because it represents my love for Tokio Hotel and their music, my love for my idol and inspiration Bill Kaulitz and his life-saver of a smile, my intense relationship with music and its artists and my love for art itself as the symbol combines music art and inspiration all together. Not to mention the fact that I’m insane. :)

People have asked my ‘Why Tokio Hotel? There are better bands around.’ and I feel like saying ‘Why did God make you who you are and not somebody else?’ Because in the end its the same thing, isn’t it? You are asking me to identify myself to you and to justify my identification, which is unethical and not your place. If you don’t already know why, it’s because you don’t know me, so don’t go on asking for justification and the endless seas of ‘Why?’. For my friends who have known me for years or even for a little while, the reason should be clear and most of you know exactly why I got it. If it’s a question of liking the tattoo 20 years from today and not regretting it, don’t worry because it’s not on your body, is it? I chose this tattoo because it will forever represent on my body what Tokio Hotel were, who they are now, what they will become, and their metamorphic journey through music. I have grown up with them, shared my love, my hatred, cried my sorrows and screamed my frustrations all the while their music channeled energy into me. It represents the fact that I am who I am partly because of them and partly because of the people who are in my life. It is a symbol of my individuality and uniformity with other fans who also have this tattoo. We are a global team, I think, and understand what this band means to us.

So there you have it folks, the big things that happened since I last wrote on MHB. I know I’m a psycho, so you needn’t point out the obvious!

Now on to business:

My latest obsession in with My Chemical Romance’s single ‘SING’. It awakens an animal part of me. Not an animal who wants to attack and kill but rather an animal who stalks through the night, howling to the full moon and just reveling the feeling of being free. Yes I must admit it, it is slightly more mainstream than what MCR have come up with previously, but it doesn’t stop the track from being beautiful. Quite the contrary. You really feel like you want to ‘sing it from the heart’, where ‘it’ is your freedom, your expression, your identity and your place on this earth. The techno vibes coupled with the short, brisk piano strokes simply bring the harsh realties and dangers of life into perspective. The video isn’t quite what I expected with the band going all out in a laser-gun duel with guys in masks all to save a little kid… Err… I actually craved more drama in the video, because the only part that hit me hard was the part where Gerard Way is grabbed, pushed up against a wall, and shot. Being a huge Way fan, I freaked out. In a bad way. :S

Another big hit with me is a single Linkin Park have come up with ‘Waiting For the End’. It’s very dream-like and similar to ‘Leave Out All the Rest’ from their previous studio album,  ‘Minutes To Midnight’. I loved the intensity of the lyrics ‘This is not the end, this not the beginning’ and ‘so many things were left unsaid, its hard to let you go.’ Very emotional and in pain. I almost imagine a very painful dance between two lovers taking place… Or rather a very intense story unfolding from within the petals of the flower of hope. Something is SO haunting about this song that it makes you think about the mistakes you have made and what you would do to reverse them, at the same time it reminds you not to lose yourself in them. Simply beautiful, the video is striking and very in-sync with the dreamy-ness of the song. My favourite part about the song is the guitar solo from 3:06-3:14. Soul-stirring indeed. A definite tune for any playlist, its heartbreakingly beautiful. :’)

Here’s a link to the video for ‘SING’ by MCR—>

Here’s a link to Linkin Park’s ‘Waiting for the End’—>

Ladies and Gentlemen… We Have A Winner! Or Maybe its Just a boost to their ego… :P

Posted in Personal Glory... I'm so modest.. :), Pink Champagne <3, The Mystery Artist... O_O with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 12, 2010 by midnightradiostar

I had put up my Mystery Artist competion a few weeks ago, and was waiting desperately for my ‘knight in shining armour’ of sorts to come along… In other words, the the braniac among my charming fans who would be intelligent enough to guess the answer correctly! After sweating about various problems and the possible failure entirely of my Mystery Artist program, my sigh at the winner’s answer was a very happily heaved synonym for ‘relief’.

Its funny how close to the heart answers lie… The winner of the competition for April is a classmate of mine, and one of my best friends.

NIVEDITA THOMAS wins the Mystery Artist quiz for the month of April 2010! After not much contemplation, her inborn passion for music [or fashion. I dont really know which applies in this case] kicked in and delivered the answer…


She started off as the only girl in a band of four, the band being No Doubt. [The band’s name was the third clue… :D ]

No Doubt

She founded the fashion label ‘L.A.M.B.’, which stands for ‘Love. Angel. Music. Baby.’ based on one of her solo albums’ title.

The album cover of L.A.M.B.

Design of the fashion label, based on Gwen’s personal style.

In other words.. NIVY, GOT IT.

So, as I had promised, here’s a ‘Cookie’.

As a reward[Cookie], Nivedita gets to pick the next song/artist/album for me to review. She can pick anything for me to give my viewpoints on. Whether I rip apart the song/artist/album or give it glory, is entirely upto me. :)

As quick as she is, Nivedita has already told me her choice. She wants me to review the hit Jason Mraz song, ‘I’m Yours’ and give the public my own take.

So there you have it. My question has a winner and a ‘Ridz Cookie’! [That’s what I call my prizes]. Hope you’re looking forward to reading more about Nivedita’s choice. I know I’m thrilled about writing it…. :P

At this point I would also like to mention Nivedita is my brain twin and has a soft spot for Tom Kaulitz, the identical twin of my true love, Bill Kaulitz. :D I simply couldn’t let that go unsaid.

Tom and Bill. <3

Psychotically signing out… <3


Posted in Personal Glory... I'm so modest.. :) with tags , , , , , , on March 4, 2010 by midnightradiostar

Today, I have reached a landmark moment in my life and my Blog’s life.

I have had 1,000 views.

People have seen Midnight HeartBEAT 1,000 times.

Yes, I know compared to all the big-time bloggers out there I am a mere wimp so far, something to laugh at, but the point is this is milestone, people….

So satisfied.

Something I can truly celebrate after the woes of my life in the past few months.

Love that smile… Just so reflects my happiness…

I will be doing a special Mystery Artist on my next blog…. Don’t worry…  Its not Bill… BUT just wait. :)

Soon… ALL will be revealed.

God I love suspense…. ;)

Psychotically signing off… <3

Yours Notoriously, Steve Tyler; On the Rocker’s Fallout With Aerosmith and the Relationship With Liv, His Daughter… Rockstar Dads CAN Be Bad News.. :/

Posted in Family And Other Complications, Partying With A Glitch or Two with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 14, 2010 by midnightradiostar

Who is your favorite famous male artist [who is still single]? Can you ever imagine them as dads? Snot-wiping, diaper changing, feeding and playin-with, dads???? Here are some world-famous dads and their little ones:

Usher and son

Chris Martin of Coldplay and daughter.

Slash, of Guns N Roses, and son.

Don’t these dads look responsible? Like they want to spend the entire day with their precious little ones? :)

Even though they may be completely different, they do remind us of  our own dad and the times we shared with him. The places he took us, the cool stuff he bought us [like the new iTouch.. :D Love you dad!]  even though mom said no… Good times, right? Reflecting back on our childhoods, there is no pain in realising how lucky those of us who had good, committed dads, are. Sometimes, having a rockstar for a dad doesn’t look so cool… sometimes all you may want to do is run screaming in the opposite direction. Or sometimes… When your about nine or so, your mother tells you a world-famous rockstar is your father.

This revelation can be really hard to absorb. The person to ask, I guess, is Liv Tyler. You may remember her from hit movies like ‘Armageddon’ and ‘Lord Of The Rings’ [where she was the elf-princess.]

Can you guess who the father of this gorgeous woman is? Well, its none other than sexy Steven Tyler, lead singer of rock band Aerosmith and world-famous musician.

Liv was born to Steven Tyler and mother Bebe Buell, on July 1st, 1977.  Her mother told her that her father was Todd Rundgren, another musician. She didn’t know Steven was her father until she was nine years old and after meeting him and noticing a resemblance she shared with his other daughter, Mia. When she asked her mother about the similarity, the secret was revealed. The truth about Tyler’s paternity did not become public until five years later, in 1991, when she changed her name from Rundgren to Tyler, but kept the former as a middle name. The reason Liv’s mother kept the truth from her daughter, was that Steven was too heavily addicted to drugs at the time of Liv’s birth. It’s really tragic to lose out in the early stages of your child’s life because of drugs taking control of you [and that’s why you should NEVER accept the white powder from the stranger, kids! ^^ ] Since she found out about her dad, however, Liv and Steven developed a close father-daughter relationship. :)

Even to the extent where he was there for her at all times when her son, Milo, was born. :)

Now THAT’S family! :D

However, it seemed that trouble seems to stick to the rockstar like a tongue on a frozen pole in the middle of a January in Berlin!

Aerosmith were signed to Columbia Records in 1972, and released a string of multi-platinum albums, beginning with their 1973  début album. In 1975, the band broke into the mainstream with the album Toys In The Attic, and their 1976 follow-up Rocks drilled in their status as hard rock superstars. By the end of the 1970s, they were among the most popular hard rock bands in the world and developed a loyal following of fans, often referred to as the ‘Blue Army’ [I am so a Blue Soldier! XD]

 However, drugs and internal conflict took their toll on the band, which resulted in Joe Perry and Brad Whitford leaving, in 1979 and 1981 respectively. They were replaced by Jimmy Crespo and Rick Dufay. It’s sad, but the band didn’t do so great between 1980 and 1984, releasing a lonely album, Rock In A Hard Place, which went gold but failed to match their earlier successes.

Finally, Perry and Whitford returned in 1984 and the band signed a new deal with Geffen Records. But it was not until the band sobered up and released 1987’s Permanent Vacation that they regained the level of popularity they saw in the 1970s.Throughout the late 1980s and 1990s, the band scored several hits and won numerous awards for music from the multi-platinum albums Pump(1989), Get A Grip (1993), and Nine Lives(1997). Their comeback has been described as one of the most remarkable and spectacular in rock ‘n’ roll history. After 40 years of performing, the band continues to tour and record music. XD BOOYEAH!!

When I think of Steven Tyler, my brain goes ‘Now THAT’S a man with style!’ Seriously. Crazy, extreme, amazing singer…. All a wonderful concoction to brew the perfect rockstar: Steven Tyler. We could, however, minus the drugs part. Tyler has an original voice: High pitched withe the ability to scream and not come out sounding like a banshee. :) Of course his fashion sense is a major highlight. Never seen one man wear such tight, revealing… OMG. I should stop. ;) This should give you an idea:

7854545.jpg SEXY STEVEN TYLER image by aerobabe_2008

One of my favorite things about him is his signature scarves tied to the microphone stand. Something that I have never seen anyone else do. [They’d be in shit with Aerosmith fans if they did. Go Blue Army!! :D]

Steven and the Scarves. :)

I also love his mouth. I have no words to describe it.


Aerosmith is one of my favourite Rock N Roll bands of all time, topping Guns N Roses on my list! I think Steven Tyler is one of the sexiest men I have ever seen [even though he is old enough to be my granddad.. :)] and Joe Perry is one of the most talented guitarists the WORLD has ever seen. X]

Tyler and Perry. Great team.

My Top 6 favourite songs by Aerosmith include:

1.I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing- From the movie ‘Armageddon’ which starred Liv Tyler! :D

A still from the movie.

2.Livin’ On The Edge


4.Crazy– Crazy actually featured Liv Tyler and Alicia Silverstone in video, and both girls looked AMAZING. I’ll post the video on here somewhere, so don’t worry. :)

5.Dude Looks Like A Lady [this reminds me of Bill Kaulitz, in a very fond way… :)]

6.Sweet Emotion

Aerosmith is the best-selling American rock band of all time, having sold more than 150 million albums worldwide. They also hold the record for the most gold and multi-platinum albums by an American group. The band has scored 21 Top 40 hits on the Billboard Hot 100, nine #1 Mainstream Rock hits, four Grammy Awards, and ten MTC Music Video Awards. They were inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame in 2001, and in 2005 they were ranked #57 in Rolling Stone magazine’s[my most favorite magazine ever who I wish to work for someday…*heart flutters*] 100 Greatest Artists of All Time. Pretty good for a few grandpa’s, huh? :P

.::BEATS for thought::.

Aerosmith’s music video for Crazy; I know all will love it—>

Livin On The Edge; One of my favourite music videos by them… OMG STEVEN TYLER!!!!! :O —->

Performing Cryin’ in New York in 2007—–>

Hope you liked it.

Do comment and let me know how you feel. Cmon, let out your INNER demons…. Show me some of your Sweet Emotion… ;)

Psychotically signing off.

Ridz <3

Bill Kaulitz: The Guy Who Lived… Glitz, Glamour, Heartbreak, Anorexia, Vegetarianism and that INCREDIBLY SEXY Hair! >.<

Posted in From The Story of Bill and Me, Lotsa Love and a Bit of Tears with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 25, 2010 by midnightradiostar

First of all I’d like to apologize for the gaps between my blogs the size of the great Wall of China. The thing is with school starting, homework, and my trip to Mumbai, I’m not getting any bonding time with my laptop. The pressure is beating down on my head to get you guys a decent blog, but the thing is I am helpless. I am VERY sorry and will try to avoid this as much as possible! Now, on to the article! :)

I don’t think there is any need for me to declare to you [as this is certainly no confession] that I was, am and always will be perpetually in love with the FABULOUS BILL KAULITZ, front man of German band Tokio Hotel, and world fashion icon. People have asked me why, being so in love with him, I haven’t done an article on him yet. So here it is, ladies and gentlemen…. The Truth Behind Bill’s Wall.


What led me to love this phenomenal man? Well, I have to say that it was his smile, and the hit song ‘Monsoon’ from Tokio Hotel’s début album in English, ‘Scream’, released in 2007.

Over the years there has been much speculation on the gender, sexual orientation and mental health of Bill Kaulitz. I can go on saying positive happy things like ‘Shiny Happy People’ about him, but the truth is that sometimes, we have to let the world see the bad to see the truth at the end. Maybe its easy for us to forget that he is after all just a nice guy plagued by certain issues.

First, the gay issue:

OKAY. Now, I want to clarify here that his sexuality is NONE OF OUR BUSINESS. Him being gay is a continuous rumour that, according to Bill, “comes up every year.” He seems a little delicate, but really, there’s nothing wrong with that. So he’s delicate, so he wears make-up, so he has fake eyelashes, so he’s beautiful, but SO WHAT? To his fans [including me] he’s the hottest thing since David Bowie.

Why torture another human being just because they’re different? Having being called a Lesbian myself, which I’m not, I know how Bill feels, and trust me people : It’s not a pretty feeling! Now I love gay people. I am a gay rights activist and some of my best friends are gay, but they’ll agree with me when I say that there’s nothing great about being labelled with something you’re not, whether its sexuality, personality, or anything else.

But calling someone gay ‘because they look it’? Wake up! There’s no such thing as ‘looking or acting gay’. People who just make empty judgments are shallow and have no heart. Superficiality is everything to them; from the air they breathe, to the food they eat, to the shit they excrete: of course, it’s all so beautiful.

Next: The Anorexia issue:

Okay this one had me baffled too, I admit. I doubted him. I doubted that he ate the right things, slept at the right time… Infact, I felt that it was all a big lie. I did believe Bill was anorexic. It wasn’t just me, though. Tons of fans and non-fans did too, and some still do so even after he clarified that he’s perfectly healthy and does not have any eating disorders.

But when proof lies in front of your eyes, what must you believe? He’s only 20 years old and possibly a victim.

I flinch every time I see this picture.  It hurts me deep inside. It was taken in 2009.

Needless to say, many fans are furious with him about this. They’ve even started hunger strikes among themselves to make him eat! [Outrageous? You don’t know the half of it!]

He recently said in an interview that he’s not got an eating disorder, but no matter what he eats, he never gains weight.  If he’s being honest, then I wish I was that lucky.When my family and friends discuss his skinny figure, most of them never fail to mention that he might be the next Michael Jackson. Yes, we loved Michael. But we lost him. Please don’t let that happen, Bill. Don’t be one of those people who destroy themselves.

Maybe it’s got something to do with the fact that he’s been a vegetarian for the past 1.5 years. [I tried, but didn’t last a week.]



It’s no secret that Bill Kaulitz is single and desperately seeking love. He says he wants to fall in love but can’t due to his busy schedule and constantly being surrounded by the media and bodyguards. He’s had a couple of girlfriends, but just hasn’t found the right one yet. Who can blame him? He’s also not the ‘one-night stand’ kind of guy, which is something that CANNOT be said for his identical twin brother Tom, and believes in a committed relationship. [A guy like that is one in a million.]

But when love knocks on his door, will he open it? Is he closed to the idea deep inside? There is a tremendous hold full of love he keeps bottled up, just waiting to detonate. Perhaps he is afraid that when he DOES love a someone, they’ll break his heart, so he stays away from relationships subconsciously. Keeps the bottle tightly corked. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t found love. Again, just a theory. I’m sure he will, though. When he finds them, I’m sure that bottle with burst with a shower of sparks dazzling enough to blind the entire world.

Bill and Tom

They’ve been in the spotlight from the age of 2 till 20. The only twins who beat that are the Olsen twins.

Bill, Tom, and a glass piano…

Bill and Tom have always been a great team. From the time they were seven years old they were interested in music and over the years, they have established themselves as one of the sexiest, richest, and most talented pair of twins on the planet. Every Tokio Hotel fan has their favorite twin, and as much as I love Tom, Bill wins my favoritism. I can’t get enough of his smile.

Can anyone resist that pout????

The point of the matter is, that no matter how much we love someone, how much we want to believe that they are okay and nothing’s going to happen to them, we are kidding ourselves. Everybody has demons. Demons they hide inside of them and subconsciously feed. Appearance. Lack of love. Issues with identity. These are crises we ALL have faced or must face. Bill Kaulitz, ladies and gentlemen, faces no less. He is one of us. These pressures are then added to the weight he carries of being famous and the entire planet watching him. Imagine, I found his grandma’s pet-name for him on the internet. Would you like your grandma’s pet name for you revealed to billions of people, accessable at the click of a button? Come on. Give a guy a break.


He’s my idol so PLEASE watch out if I ever hear you insult him :)

Love you Bill. Thanks for being you. <3

:: Beats for Thought::

Their Latest Single, ‘World Behind My Wall’ A must see!–>

A THTV Episode [funny] —>

Another one where they dance around and generally act like clowns…  —>

I would also like to credit an image I used in this article to this Deviant Art account.. Thank you.. :) —->

*NOTE: Since this article has been recieving a lot of attention and mixed comments, I would like to state that the views expressed on Bill’s sexuality and relationships are mine alone, and I cannot say I know exactly what’s going on in his life and in his mind. He is after all an individual leading his life the best way he can. Also, when he does begin to date I will be happy and I urge all fans to be happy for him… :) He’s human and needs someone special in his life. Another thing, I have recieved some comments describing detailed sex-scenes with Bill. -_-‘  May I remind everyone that this is NOT Literotica, guys! If you post such a comment I will have to delete it out of respect to my other readers and Bill.


Ridz <3

Why Kurt Cobain Should Be Alive.. Suicide’s a Permanent Solution To Temporary Problems… :'(

Posted in Mood Swings and Champagne with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 3, 2010 by midnightradiostar

Kurt Cobain. Another name lost to the hundreds of musicians who have committed suicide over the past few years. He was only 27 years of age when his body was found at his Seattle home on the 8th of April, 1994. He had shot himself in head, poor chap. If you go onto Wikipedia,[] or any other site and read his biography, you feel a great deal of pity for the man, and you ask yourself this question: Why?

Today I saw a movie called ‘3 Idiots’. There was a a case or two of suicide in this movie [hopefully I’m not being a great spoiler] and when I came home today, I realized that life really is a wonderful thing. There’s no point keeping all your woes in and crying about it and then finally cutting yourself, or jumping off a building or shooting your brain out of your head. You can find a way out that doesn’t concern topping yourself.

Cobain’s music has always been a mode of inspiration to me. Through his lyrics, I found what it REALLY is like to be a teenager with teenage woes of love, life, and school. He wrote about the angst that young people feel, the insecurites, the need to fit in and how we always get around it and try our best. What he didn’t learn, was to try and follow his own advice.

What’s happened after his death, is that people’s fascination with him has grown tenfold. He has been called an icon. A legend. A true prodigy in the music world. But for what? Killing himself? Can he see all this now? Is he enjoying the fame and the fortune? Well, yeah, he may be smoking pot in heaven, but the point is we miss him. Us fans miss him. Yes, I was only two when he died. But he’s STILL famous enough for me to tell my kids about when I’m grown up and married and shit. A person like that truly is a legend. But its because he is frozen in time. Forever 27. Forever a musician. A free spirit. A tragedy. So many things; but NOT alive.

Really makes you wonder, doesnt it? Why. What was going through his head?

He even had a daughter. A wife, Courtney Love[As demented as she may still, today, be], he had his band. But he couldn’t see that. He couldnt see their love for him. Dave Grohl, ex-drummer of Nirvana, lead singer of Foo Fighters recalls that Cobain’s death was the worst thing to ever happen to him.

 Dave Grohl

But Kurt still left his family, his best friends, his fans, and his career behind. He didnt see the tears. He’s at peace. But he left us in turmoil.

Many artists today are trying to stamp out the sorrow called ‘Suicide’. May it be among themselves, their friends, or their fans, they are trying to make it less prominent a cause of death in society. My own favorite band, Tokio Hotel, have written a song about it called ‘Sping Nicht’ [‘Don’t Jump’ is the english version of the song] and what they are all trying to say is that you are never alone.

 Bill Kaulitz, of Tokio Hotel

There is always someone. A friend. A family member. Your favorite singer can help too! When you’re down, just listen to peaceful happy music, call a friend you can trust [my favorite thing to do when I’m sad. Ask my best friends! They are actually quite sick of my drama… :/ I REALLY owe the darlings, bless them.], call a family member, take a stroll in the park; DO something. ANYTHING. But don’t leave the people you love in turmoil…

Death is not a beautiful thing. No matter how many times you try to convince yourself that your funeral will be a beautiful ceremony, full of regret and sorrow. There will be regret. There will be sorrow. But there is no beauty. We are BORN to prove that. When we die, we must try to keep it for later. Remember to tell yourself: ” I can die later. But I can never be who I am now, again.” If only someone had said that to Kurt Cobain.. :'(

::Beats For Thought::

Kurt Cobain, Nirvana, ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ :

Tokio Hotel’s ‘Spring Nicht’:



Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 26 other followers